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gamoradorable:

them: oh are u excited for that new marvel movie?
me

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koujakus-blog:

one time i was eating some chips and salsa with my mom and it was really spicy so i went “i feel like a dragon” because my mouth was fucking on fire and my mom just casually says “you only want to be a dragon so you can have that hiccup boy ride you”

it took her a few moments to realize her mistake

neyruto:

i had the most surreal experience of my life at the mall i was standing by one of those god forsaken meme t-shirt stands and a sweaty pre-teen boy pointed to a shirt and yelled “gandam style” and started to half-heartedly do the dance without taking his eyes off of the shirt. his face was so red. he was tired.

romeyooo:

adorkablenerdvana:

sometimes i think that i am not so stereotypical of an american

and then i remember that i consider the coke freestyle machine one of the greatest modern inventions

i mean look at this thing

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it’s beautiful

over 100 choices, computerized mixing, one spout, touch screen, ice dispenser

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like wow

have u ever seen anything so wondrous and beautiful??

Sex is not a goddamn performance. Sex should feel as natural as drinking water. It should not require confidence.

Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe. Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire.

You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh. It’s not about being “good in bed.” It’s about being happy.

One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough.

What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you. Don’t worry about taking it too slow. We got time. We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities. Explore each fuck. Take our time. We can do a different one later.

Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be. I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this.

I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want. It’s originality. It’s passion. It’s joy. Don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception.

I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way.

“Good in bed,” what. You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you. Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it. Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel. This isn’t a test.

distortional-scum:

chellzisyeezus:

huffingtonpost:

THESE 16 DOGS ARE HEROES. THEY ARE ALSO PIT BULLS.

Virtually every dog relishes a loving scratch behind the ears and some sweet, vocal praise. But dogs identified as pit bulls get a bad reputation and a lot less love.

Try not to cry as you read the full stories behind these heroic pit bulls here. 

alkebu-lani

My baby Daisyduke saved my aunt, cousin, and I from a convicted rapist. Animals can do amazing things. Don’t doubt them.

ben-c:

i want to slow dance with you in the kitchen at 1am in our pyjamas i want to stand ankle-deep in the ocean with you shrieking about how cold it is like little girls i want to make hot cocoa and blanket forts with you once we’re far too old for either i want to be able to roll over at 4am and feel your heartbeat in my bones because i love you deeply and forever

yourweaponisguilt:

please stop reimagining childhood cartoon characters as adult hipsters